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Archive for the ‘A Single Season’ Category

Looking at the Heart

When Samuel went out to anoint the man the Lord chose as Israel’s second King, the Lord said to Samuel

… man looks at outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. (NIV) or
… for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. (NAS)
1 Samuel 16

I feel like this verse came to life for me yesterday. Awesome!!

I was thinking about a friend that “likes” me and I asked myself, why I didn’t “like” him back the way he liked me? I thought, Lord, is there something wrong with me? This is a good guy. He serves the Lord, attends church, enjoys fellowship, always tries to do what is right. He’s a good looking guy. I asked the Lord, is my heart hard towards him? Why am I not willing to accept the opportunity? Wow, that can be a loaded question. That can go back to insecurities, rejection, past hurts, etc. But the Lord brought me revelation on this matter. I love it when God brings unexpected revelations! Or, maybe I thought it was unexpected, but God brought it at just the right time.

I realized that the reason I didn’t want to jump into “liking” this person was because I wasn’t attracted to his heart. It’s not that this person had a bad heart, it’s that the Lord revealed that this person didn’t have the kind of heart that I needed. God was saying, this is not the one I have chosen for you. Wow, pretty cool revelation!

I don’t think it’s ever dawned on me to look at someone’s heart when considering dating. This made me regress to think about past relationships. I remembered an old boyfriend that really had a heart that drew me in. His heart attracted me and we had a really close relationship with each other and with God. We were good friends for a while and then tried dating, but I couldn’t get past my worldly judgments on outward appearance and I ended the relationship.

Lord, I have prayed to you, asking that I may see how you see. Thank you Lord, for You have been faithful in answering my prayer. I thank you for letting me see into the hearts of others. I thank you for letting me know when to draw close and when not to. Lord, I leave it to You to join me with the right man that has the right heart for You, for me and for others. In Jesus’ loving Name. Amen.

I Will Wait, a Poem

Below is a video of a young lady reciting her poem, “I Will Wait for You.” She speaks good truth very effectively. Listed below are also the words to the poem in case you want to listen and read along.

So it seemed, that it was cool, for everyone to be in a relationship but me.
So I took matters into my own hands, and ended up with him.
Him who displayed the characteristics of a CHEATER, a LIAR, an ABUSER, and a THIEF.
So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?
I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting
Cause it was ME who let him in.
Claiming we were “just friends”
It was already decided for me by the first date, that even if he wasn’t
I was gonna make him “the one”
You know… I was tired of being alone.
And I simply made up in my mind, that it was about that time so I decided to drag him along for the ride
Cause I was always the bridesmaid and never the bride.
A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat
Who was tired of the wait
So I was gonna make him “the one”
He had a form of Godliness, but not much
But hey, hey I can change him! So I’ll take him, I mean he’s close — enough
Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of its use to me
Arties so clogged with MY will, it blocked HIS will from flowing through me.
So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,
That flatlined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back
Through my ignorance He saw
Through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest
To transplant Psalm 51:10.
A new heart and a renewed right spirit within!
So now I fully understand,
Better yet I thoroughly comprehend,
How much I NEED to wait… for You.
See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn’t You from the beginning.
Cause in the beginning was the Word
And he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,
And all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings –
Which meant NOTHING.
He couldn’t even pray when I NEEDED him to.
Asking him to fast would be absurd.
So forget about being cleansed and washed with water through the Word.
But I know You.
You were already praying for me.
Even never having met me
Let me assure you, I will wait for You.
I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you
To appease my boredom or to quench my thirstiness I have for attention
And short-lived compliments from “sorta kindas”
You know…. He ‘sort kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?
His first name LUKE,
His last name WARM.
I, I won’t settle for false companionship
I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,
Attempting to find some closeness,
But never feeling so far apart cause, I just wanna be held
Cause all I gotta do is say “No!”
NO more ‘almost sessions’ of ‘almost coming close’
Passing winks and buying drinks,
I’ma, I’ma, I’ma flirt!
Who flirts with the ideology of,
‘Can you just tell me how much I can get away with and still be saved?’
No more.
I’ll stay in my bed.
Alone, and write poems, about how I will wait for You.
He won’t even come close,
Our fingers won’t even interlock
We won’t even exchange breath
Cause I have thoughts that I’ve ‘saved as’ in a file that God has only equipped you to open.
I will no longer get weighted down,
From so-called friends and family talks,
About the concern for my biological clock
When I serve the Author of Time.
Who is NOT subject to time,
But I’M subject to Him,
He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or REWIND at any given time.
So if we could role play,
You would be Abraham & I would be Sarah
Or you could be Isaac and I can be Rebecca – a servant’s answered prayer.
I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh,
Made up of your rib Adam!
And once we meet, like electrons
I will be bound to your nucleus, completely indivisible atom.
We even speak the same math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 3, which really equals 1 if you add them.
We were all created in His image,
But you have the ability to reflect, project and even detect the Son.
If I were to explain what you looked like,
You would have to look like a star,
A son of the Son.
I would gain energy simply from the light you shine on me.
I would need you in order to complete my photosynthesis.
I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis, I will wait for you
And I will know you because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom.
Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses.
Your faith will remind me of Abraham.
Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel.
Your inspiration will remind me of Paul.
Your heart for God will remind me of David,.
Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah.
Your integrity will remind me of Joseph.
And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples.
But Your ability to love selflessly and unconditionally will remind me of Christ.
But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks.
Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.
And you will know me, and you will find me,
Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.
Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary.
Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.
I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.
But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth
Only if you should see fit
I desire Your will above mine,
So even if you call me to a life of singleness,
My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.
YOU are the greatest love story ever told,
The greatest love ever known.
You are forever my judge and I am forever Your witness
And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business.
Oh, I will always be Yours!
And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning.
More than the watchmen wait for the morning… I WILL WAIT

A Single Season

I feel like the Lord is leading me in writing and reviewing resources that guide His beloved during their season of being “single.” With that, I added a new category to my blog called A Single Season. If you are looking for Godly wisdom or resources in this subject, I hope that you can find good insight here. I pray the Lord lead you and guide you as you search for answers based on His truth.

In Love,

James 1:16-18
Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

Single Seasoning

For weeks I had been wanting to get into reading a new book. Three or four books I tried, but none kept my interest. Why wasn’t I drawn to read any of those books? They were all spiritually enlightening. I felt maybe my heart was hard to their messages. I did feel spiritually dry, like I wasn’t hearing from the Lord. I can recognize those days because I know what it’s like to be in the opposite spectrum. I love being in the flow of hearing God, if you know what I mean.

I was preparing to go on vacation and I wanted to take some books to read. I grabbed one that I had started, and another from my book shelf that I hadn’t read before. It was a small book, and I thought it would be a good, light read during my trip. The book was called, A Slice of the Pie by Anamichelle Lopez.

Let me start with some background as to how I got this book. Almost two years ago, I attended a singles conference with some girl friends. At the conference there were several vendor tables with things to buy. On the last evening of the conference, my friend stopped by one of the tables to chat with a girl she knew, Anamichelle. I looked around at the things that Anamichelle was selling, but I didn’t buy anything. But before we left, out of her heart Anamichelle gave me a copy of her book at no charge. I was thankful, but was not led to read the book right away. Well, as God would have it, it was a perfect read during my trip this past weekend.

Anamichelle wrote a great, simple book on how to approach your sweet single season, a season I’ve been in some time. Everything she wrote is to the point, with just the right heart and lots of scriptural support. I was holding back tears as I read one of her illustrations of how the Lord provided her with a bread bowl of soup on their date out. I also enjoyed the letters from those who were explaining how they came into celibacy.

After reading this book, I have found myself taking a more active approach on how I will continue my sweet single season. This may sound silly to you, but one of my prayers now is that I have asked the Lord to reveal to me if His will for me of either celibacy or marriage. I have asked him to answer my prayer in three ways:

  • By hearing His still, small voice
  • By a Rhema word in Scripture
  • Confirmation through a person

I know that an answer to this prayer, will give me better focus on how God wills to direct my life. If it’s His will for me to marry, then I will honor that by praying for my future husband and family. If it is God’s will for me to be celibate, then I know I will have an everlasting peace and I won’t be concerned with praying for a husband. This is just one of a few things stirring my heart from this book. I will continue to share more as things progress. May the Lord also direct you in the path He wills for you.

Which Way to My Mate?

Three times this week from three different sources I’ve heard reference to doing things God’s way and not man’s way. I take it that the Lord is trying to tell me something??!! Yes, He is indeed.

Several months ago, a friend sent me a link to a book called How to Get a Date Worth Keeping. In the book, Christian author Dr. Henry Cloud, advices that we can all find a good date (and ultimately a good mate) by following his approach to dating. He says that we shouldn’t be waiting around for God to make the match, but rather that we should take action with the potential around us.

I read an excerpt from the book and it sounded quite convincing, but I had doubts if this was really a Biblical approach. In the excerpt from Chapter 1, two friends are having a debate about why the other has been in a stagnant single season for two years. The opposite friend offers up a challenge to the unhappy woman and became her “dating coach.” The agreement required her to give full obedience to his approach and that she would have a guaranteed good date in no later than six months.

Here is part of the excerpt (emphasis added):

For two years her dating life had been stagnant, and she was denying that reality with a philosophy that if you do nothing, God will somehow step in and provide a man. That way of thinking, which I knew was nowhere in the Bible, kept her from seeing she was very, very stuck. My goal was to get her to see the reality of her situation and to get very discouraged. I wanted her to see that what she was doing was not working and that it had been that way for a long time. I wanted that realization to sink in and bother her. My trying to convince her that she was wrong was not going to work.

She was too sure she was right. I wanted her to realize the reality of her dating life for herself. Just as balancing a checkbook can wake one up to one’s lack of money, keeping a log would awaken Lillie to her lack of dates.

Hmm, I had a few issues with that. Does it really not say in the Bible that God will somehow step in and provide a man? Is God not our provider? In Genesis 2, did the Lord not bring Eve to Adam? In Genesis 24, did the Lord not bring Rebekah to Isaac? Also, when has it ever been Biblical for us to blatantly discourage others (aside from discouraging others to take part in sin) as the friend clearly claimed to do?

Of course, the chapter one scenario wouldn’t have made it into a book if it didn’t have a success story to follow. Lillie, the once unhappy, single woman, ended up getting married to a man she dated based on the program that her friend challenged her with.

Often times, in our discouragement to God’s timing, we try and do things combining both God’s way with man’s way, or we frustratingly turn our situation solely to man’s reasoning because our faith and patience on God has run dry and we feel we are left out in the desert.

In Matthew 6, it says that the Lord feeds the birds, but it’s implied that the bird has to take action by going and get the food that is provided. So my question is: Which way is the Biblical approach to match making? Which way is God’s way? Do we need to go find and get the mate that the Lord has already provided for us, or do we wait for Him to bring us together? Is the Matthew 6 scripture considered out of context when considering match making?

Transforming Prince

For Christmas, a friend lovingly gave me a “Magic Frog-to-Prince” gag gift. I looked at it, laughed and smiled. My friend knew that for a while I had been feeling down about the ending of a past relationship, and she thought this little gift would be perfect to lift my spirits. What a sweet gesture from my friend. Add water and the frog magically turns into a prince in a just few minutes. How adorable and funny!

I tried the experimental toy a few days later. The instructions read: add water and watch as the frog transforms into a prince in minutes. I did just that. Slowly, the water started to turn green and muggy as layers of the frog dissolved into the water. The water turned bright green and gross, and I could no longer see if anything was going on. The longer I looked at it, the grosser it seemed, so I stopped watching. Besides, it was taking longer than I expected, so I went on to do other things and I left the jar alone.

When you think about it, isn’t it funny how this little scenario actually relates to daily life? As we wait for our “prince,” God doesn’t want us to stop what we are doing and wait, He wants us to do other things. Enjoy God and life as God magically transforms your frog into a prince. Watching isn’t going to make the process go faster. Like the toy, the transformation of our real prince will probably take longer than expected, and it may be a “gross” process. No one ever said that transformation would be clean, cute and easy. No, transforming is lots of grossness, dissolving of layers and difficult (to go through and to watch).

So after a few hours, I looked at my jar again. It looked like gross, green water. But in really looking through, I could see the silhouette of a small person figure. I poured out the green water, and there he was – a little prince. I filled the jar with new, clean water and let it sit to grow to full size as the instructions read.

In order for the frog to turn into a prince, it had to be submerged in water and go through a transformation. Maybe I’m stretching it, but think of that as being like a baptism of faith. The “frog” starts transformation once baptism of Christ takes place. Then a prince that was hidden is revealed, and by the transforming power of the Holy Spirit he grows. Just like us before Christ (the frog), we accept Christ, we become baby Christians (prince), and by the power of the Holy Spirit, we grow to be mature Christians (full grown prince). Of course, the process with the toy in the jar all happens within a few days, but for us, the process takes much longer.

Sisters, let us be hopeful and patient as we wait for the Lord to transform our frog into a prince and allows him to grow. Don’t settle for a frog!

With love to His beloved.
In Christ.

A Woman After God’s Own Heart (part 2)

I remember talking with a friend over the phone earlier this year (maybe about 9 months ago) and I was telling him that I wanted to be a woman after God’s heart, like King David. I said, “I don’t want guys to pursue me and I don’t want to pursue guys, I just want to be after God’s heart.” I was proud and boastful in my speaking. I had said this comfortably knowing that I had one, possibly two pursuers pining over me. Distractions, I thought to myself, I don’t need them. If these men weren’t after me, I could focus more on God instead of them. Maybe so, but little did I know that God was going to test my prideful attitude later.

A few weeks ago, on my way to school, the Holy Spirit had me recall this conversation with my friend and He said to me, “I’m having you remember the time that you wanted to be a woman after God’s own heart. Do you remember those prayer requests? Edmee, have you been after My heart?” Grief and sorrow came over me. All Summer, I had been pining is despair over a man’s lost love and I had not sought after God’s heart like I had claimed that I would.

I then remembered again in the late Spring when God had told me, “Your friend will no longer show you that love, but I will.” Those were words I was not ready to hear at that time, and I rejected them. I rejected Him. (read more on this story from previous post: One-on-One)

I know… these thoughts all seem like random bits and pieces, but they connect the dots to a larger picture. And in reflection, I thought about the similarity of my story with Peter’s denial of Jesus. Peter was boastful in his attitude, (Matt 26:33-35). Peter denied Jesus, even though he claimed he never would (Matt 26:69-74). Then, Peter wept at realizing his actions, he was broken. Later, God restored Peter (John 21:15-19). So, just as God restored Peter, I too will be restored past my hurt, failure, and despair to keep on for Christ and to show Him how much I love him. That He know that I love Him!

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